Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
