another moral hangover. fuck.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
