I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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