5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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