I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize