drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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