are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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