billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
