I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
we should paint friendship bongs
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