Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just googled if crying burns calories
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
