I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
