He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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