were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize