So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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