I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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