I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
