HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
