You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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