32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
