I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Houston, we have a squirter
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
