life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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