I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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