if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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