I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
