the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize