Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Pooping to opera.
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