new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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