I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize