the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My bed smells like the plague
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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