Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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