I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
