why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
