I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
