After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
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If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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