New low: just hacked my moms facebook
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
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He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
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I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.