Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You made out with two different species that night
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.