I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks