I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito