This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
