FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
did i just pee glitter
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
