How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
