In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
