I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
