you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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