whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
