When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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