Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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