u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
