worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
