Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
