Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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