They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
