I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize