If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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