I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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