I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
