forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
