Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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