I cockslap morals
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
