I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
