She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
