he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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