Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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