did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
