I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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