Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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