what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
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Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
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Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
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