WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
