i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
is it fun? or sober?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
