she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
P.S. I can't hear my feet
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
