i was born a porn star she said
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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