one might say we're banned from that church
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
